The Church of the Dead Deity


This is a story of what really happened to God and why he is no longer around. Long ago the Creator came to grasp the concept that absolute power corrupts absolutely. He could see this from how he treated his creations. To make matters worse he was quick to anger and would often do rash and violent things that he would later regret. He tried to control his anger and his abuse of power but he failed to control either, with disastrous consequences. Consequences like the great flood, genocide, and the destruction of entire settlements like Sodom and Gomorrah.  The Creator decided to transform himself into mortal form in order to better understand the humans. Part of this process relied on the raping and impregnating of a virgin with himself thus transforming himself into a mortal. At first the husband of the virgin was upset but when the creator told him that it was he, the Creator, that knocked up the guy’s wife then the husband was apparently a-ok with this. Anyways in the creator’s mortal form he became known as Jesus.

Jesus then grew up and got to know humanity as a human would. However even though his mortal form greatly restricted his power, the power he still had was still corrupting him. He flaunted power before everyone. Soon he gained followers. Jesus enjoyed the praise and attention that he was getting. He started to make unreasonable demands of his followers. He demanded that they started worshipping him and that they left their families and livelihoods to follow and serve him. In the end he completely forgot why he became mortal in the first place. He also was still quick to anger. One time when Jesus and his followers came across a fig tree Jesus saw that there were no figs left for him.  He once again let his temper overwhelm him. Jesus cursed the tree causing it to wither and die. While declaring this tree will grow figs no more. He then set about having his followers butcher the farmer who owned the fig tree along with his wife and two small children. They then destroyed the farm and moved on. It was at this moment that one of Jesus’ followers Judas started to question Jesus’ motives, though not openly of course.  If he had, Jesus would have almost certainly tried to kill him. Over time Jesus longed to have more people worship him. He decided to start forcing people to join his cult. When a small village that he came across refused to worship him, Jesus slaughtered the villagers including the children. Judas could no longer accept Jesus’ actions.

In the dead of night Judas snuck out of the camp. He then went to the rulers of the land, the Romans and informed them what Jesus and his cult had done. Soldiers were sent out to the encampment with Judas leading them. They carried with them a cross for which they intended to crucify Jesus with. When they got to the encampment they quickly slaughtered Jesus’ followers. When they came across Jesus however, he proved to be not as easy of an opponent to defeat. Jesus knocked the solders on to the ground with a blast wave. He then set about incinerating the Romans with flames from his hands. It was at this moment when all hope seemed lost that a brave Centurion took up his sword and charged up behind Jesus. He then swung his sword as hard as he could into Jesus’ head. The force caused his sword to shatter and it was just enough to knock Jesus out. The remaining Romans tied Jesus to the cross that they brought. Eventually the Deity died on the cross.
They killed a god, now how cool is that? The cruel god was dead and with the Creator’s death humanity was free to follow its own destiny. For centuries the story was past down about the dead god and the Centurions bravery. Unfortunately some of Jesus’ followers managed to escape. They created false stories of what really happened. Their cults spread. At first the Romans killed these cultists but then Emperor Constantine took power. Constantine was one of these cultists. He formed the Vatican and together they destroyed any and all documentation of what really happened that they could find. They also forced the Roman people to convert to Christianity. Even after the Roman Empire ended the Vatican and Christianity in Europe remained. I ask you all to stand up to these worshipers of the dead god and tell them we will not be oppressed anymore!